Day 106 - Drinking, Dancing & Debauchery... Well, Sort of...
Anyone who knows me knows that I am often in bed by 8:30. But this working weekend, I spent in Beverly Hills hobnobbing with some of the best divorce attorneys in the country. And as everyone already knows, attorneys love to drink.
So I spent two late nights the past two nights trying to keep up with people who are fairly regular to the whole drinking, dancing and debauchery soiree.
I think I held my own. I made it until midnight each night which was only an hour or so before they called it quits. I had fun too. Enjoying the energy of nightlife especially since it is so often missing in my own life. It was novel, entertaining for sure and fun. Best part, I was able to take on the next day with vigor because, since I do not imbibe, I woke up hangover free and feeling no pain. Seeing several of the late night participants throughout the day, they did not fare quite so well.
I am so grateful that I am in a place in my life where I do not need alcohol to have a good time. It doesn’t appeal to me at all. I saw the bar tabs come with lots of large numbers, credit cards thrown down to cover alcohol’s largess while I remained loyal to my diet coke.
I used to feel like an outsider when attending drinking laden events. Like I couldn’t really participate. I am pretty sure people treated me like this as well. I can’t prove it but I am sure that I missed a number of parties and events solely because the fact that I didn’t drink. Somehow my lack of participation in that manner, a bar to being invited at all.
This weekend it is more of free-for-all so an invitation is not really required. But I have to say that I had a good time. I danced too. That is something that I have always done anyway, even though dancing is usually easier when drinking. There is a magical sweet spot though where you are drunk enough to dance but not too drunk to not fall down. I am grateful that I have not allowed my sobriety to interfere with being able to dance and otherwise participate in the nightlife. I enjoy dressing up, going out on the town. There is an excitement to it that really still gets me going.
There really wasn’t much debauchery going on last night as most of the people involved are married and happily at that. But just being out in the night, a great window into a world that I left long ago. The bar filled with women and men searching for a connection and finding it usually. I feel more like a reporter in these venues, watching and observing all of the interactions, frequently wanting to jot down notes so I don’t forget something important that I see or hear. I don’t do it because it would be weird and off-putting to have the only person not drinking suddenly writing stuff down on her phone...I don’t need more reasons to stand out.
While I am not interested in going out every single night, I do enjoy these times to connect with people in this environment, perhaps a vicarious thrill of being close but not completely immersed in it all.
I am grateful too that they allow me entrance to the club...literally and figuratively. I enjoy the music, the laughter and the release in conversation. People checking their proper personalities at the door and showing up in a more true form.
So I guess my definitions have changed. No longer is drinking and dancing imbued with debauchery. Well, at least not before I went to bed...As perverse as it might sound, I really do still love a party. A reason to dress up and go put myself in the way of the night. Turning over my routine and stayed inhibitions to a freer, more pulsating life.
I fell asleep last night thinking of the music and the dancing and the people meshing in the bar that were strangers earlier in the day. Alcohol being the great social lubricant, allowing parties of different people to easily mix together when without it they would have remained separate and distinct. As I allowed sleep to claim my consciousness, I imagined the laughter, the bodies in collision on the dance floor. I fell to sleep grateful to be able to participate in their world, if only for a short while. Even more grateful to realize that it is and always will be their world. I am only a visitor there. And being absolutely ok with that arrangement.