I had a long day yesterday that involved a birthday celebration COVID-19 style, work, a hurried rush to help a friend, last minute estate planning for a friend, discussing whether or not an interaction between two ex spouses rose to the level of a charge of attempted vehicular manslaughter, a break up between 13 year olds, a teen pulling a knife on another teen and finally my dog finding a mouse in my backyard that I am pretty sure was poisoned and now being terrified that she is poisoned too. That was Thursday.
Which has resulted in me being tired today. Just done. I do not want to work. I do not want to do anything right now except go back to bed. But Friday isn’t looking much better than Thursday...
It has been a crazy week. And yesterday was especially hard...on a variety of levels. I am in desperate need of a weekend.
I have no plans...which is funny because no one has any plans.
I think I am also hitting a pandemic wall. A place where I am now mentally, spiritually and physically exhausted. I am in need of some down time which seems ridiculous given the current state of the world.
As I have mentioned before, I am not good at down time. I am not good at things relaxing but I can see that I really need it so I am going to endeavor to make it happen...in a slow, deliberate, non-insistent kind of way.
I already kind of feel defeated because I seriously do not know how to stop moving. I have two speeds - idle and full throttle. There isn’t much in between. I guess this weekend I will attempt to bring about some middle speed. Anywhere between stopped and pedal to the metal.
I do not feel like I am making much sense today so I am just going to stop writing. I feel like I am rambling about nothing which is not new but even I am not interested in what is coming out of my head today.
So I wish you all a relaxing, uneventful, easy weekend. I pray that you are able to get some down time, I mean something restorative and centering. I will report back to the class what I am able to do...pray for me.
