Yep I am going to write about it. I am 35 days in and I kind of think that it is a DUH at this point. There is no way that I am going to round out a year without sex. I am not a sex addict or machine but I do like sex and this is probably the hardest part about being alone.
This is where masturbation comes in. I don’t know why there is so much shame attached to this. Sex is an instinct. It is what gives life, satisfaction and pleasure. It is in many ways sex without the strings, mess or entanglements. I would think that the conservative churches would do way better by suggesting that their parishioners masturbate. At least they would be encouraging something real and tangible instead of “hey that really strong natural desire, longing and instinct you got going on over there? Well, SHUT.IT.DOWN!” That seems wholly illogical, stupid and not possible. Just a suggestion preacher...
Anyway, I don’t get the shame about this. It is just something that most normal people do...even if they don’t admit it. It is much more acceptable for men to admit they do it. In fact, if a guy denies doing it, I wouldn’t trust him! Seriously, he would either be lying or have something biochemical going on. Not ok. And he would make me super uneasy.
Now for us women. We are supposed to only disclose that we do this in intimate situations. Like tell our husbands or boyfriends and sometimes our girlfriends. I say Fuck That. Why should we be silent about something natural, beautiful and harmless. It is also a private thing. I am not one to go around talking about bathroom habits and I am not going to give you a break down here either. (Mom, you can keep reading now).
I am just saying that I am not ashamed of this. I will own that it is part of my life and that it is a part I enjoy. Apparently, I am going to enjoy it a lot more now with the whole man ban and all.
On a more serious note, masturbation is another way to get to know yourself. What you like, what turns you on, what helps you feel desirable and wanted. I think women have a lot of catching up to do in this department. We have kept all of that locked down for centuries. What we desire, want, what turns us on...all taboo in most circles. In my tribe of women, we talk about it all the time. Like a lot. Well some of us are married now and maybe we don’t talk about it quite as much as we used to. But we have an open, healthy and sometimes quite raunchy dialog about sex and masturbation on an ongoing basis. Yet another way that women can support women! Create a space to be real, authentic and hey maybe even a little perverse! Who doesn’t need that?