Discipline = Self Care...

I know, I know, it sucks.  But it is true, at least in my experience.  All the things I need to do to care for myself require a certain level of discipline. Writing/discipline, meditation/discipline, creativity/discipline, writing and publishing a book/discipline, starting a podcast/discipline, spiritual growth and maintenance/discipline, sobriety/discipline, gym/discipline.  Pretty much every single worthwhile endeavor in this life requires a certain level of discipline in order to effectuate a meaningful result.

And all of the above things listed are things I do that show me how to care about myself and, in fact, that I do care about myself.  And my commitment and actions of discipline demonstrate self care and love in action, every single day that I honor those commitments to myself.

I do not have it all figured out.  Nor am I totally disciplined every single day...if you observed me somedays you would think that raccoons on meth had more figured out...but then there is the baseline to my life and in that case, I have a good track record of being committed to doing the things that make me feel good about myself, the things that support and foster spiritual development and maturity.

I do not ever want to be the person who cannot or will not deviate from her routine and disciplinary actions so that spontaneity and whimsical adventures are off the table.  I like my routine, but I love fucking it up just as much. I love having a stable basis to come back to after I enjoy a good frolic and detour from the daily grind.  I do not ever want to be the person who is like, “um, no, I can’t go take that road trip with you because, well, I have my routines and disciplines that demand my attention.”  Instead, I think I have grown into a person who can deviate from the discipline, do the things I need and want to do to take care of myself when time allows instead of the usual time that I do something.  

I see my life as a pretty organized discipline of self care punctuated by jags into exploration, adventure and grand schemes.  I take my disciplines with me wherever I go, but I do so with a lightness and lack of severity that make routines and disciplines a real drag...

Self care through discipline helps me to have a stable, reliable source for growth and maturation and development.  I can return to the my routine, always.  And I have become a very disciplined person is most areas of my life.  And I think, for me, the ability to endure short term pain for long term gain came easily and summarily when I realized that discipline is just self care, organized.  My ability to attend to my health, safety, welfare and wellbeing on a daily basis provides a great place to live this amazing life I have been granted.  And I do not want to waste one second of it.

Loving yourself is the baseline for all other love in your life. If you aren’t capable of showing up for you, repeatedly, then what exactly are you capable of?  And if you won’t show up for you, why the hell would anyone else?

Simple questions, complicated answers.  But today I rest easy in the feeling and assurance that my acts of discipline are not so tiny acts of self care, self love and self actualization.  And that seems like a pretty good use of my life...

Again, still...