Fertility...

Well, that ship has sailed for me.  And I have no complaints about that.  None.  So happy to be done with all of the maidenesque issues in my life...I am grateful I had the time and inclination to become a mother, but I am grateful that the heavy lifting mom’ing is over.

I was always on the fence about kids, until I hit 30, then the clock ticking or my own mortality made me reevaluate my life and what I wanted.  Motherhood was definitely on the table.  And I thought, I would just do it alone.  I was all set to traverse the single motherhood path, when I met my ex-husband.  I had sperm reserved.  I was just waiting on timing to do the insemination.  I met him and I waited...and ended up doing it the more traditional way.

I don’t regret that decision...I am grateful for our lives, our kids and the family life we shared.  But I ended up being a single mom anyway.  I think I just knew it all along, that I would raise kids on my own.

The path to motherhood is such a female experience.  Men are welcome to come along, but it is really an us thing.  All of the major changes happen to us:  our bodies, our minds, our health, our wellbeing, our lack of sleep; we are the ones that are forever altered. I am not saying that fatherhood is any less hard or miraculous, just the difference of how much of you is consumed and altered in the process.  Anyone in a primary caretaker role has a life that is forever altered.  Fertility, the ability to procreate and bring forth life into the world, is just a whole other thing...and that is decidedly female.

Today, I am taking a dear friend to get pregnant!  So cool that I do not have to watch her have sex to accomplish this task! (Ok, I made that weird).  I have been there with her on this journey as she has gone through two egg retrievals.  And now it is embryo transfer day.  I am so exited.  She is so excited.  Please, send all the good, fertile thoughts her way!  She is going to be the best mom!

I am honored to still be of good use.  My fertility is a thing of the past, but I can still be of service to those women who are still in their maiden era.  I can lend support, pick ups and drop offs, moral support and friendship.

Life is so very strange.  Just as I have wrestled with my complex and varied feelings about my own empty nest, the universe has seen fit to have me play an active role in the lives of two of my girlfriends:  the one who is here now with her own miracle baby and my other friend who will round another corner on this journey today.  I love the economy of good will.  That no matter where we are on the fertility spectrum, we can always serve a good and useful purpose.  I am so grateful that I got my chance to be a mom and all that entails.  And now, I am so grateful that I get to still be around and a part of other women’s journeys.

I pray that today we moms welcome another honored member to our circle.  If you have the time, send some good, fertile wishes in our direction, please and thank you!  And if you are lucky enough to have traveled this path yourself, trust that my friend deserves to be among us and pray that today is the day she moves forward on this treacherous, loving, amazing, miraculous journey of motherhood.  I am so honored to be a part of it all...all the women I know, all the mothers I know.  Such an incredibly hard journey whether you get pregnant the old fashioned way or whether you employ all the medical options that are available to us today.  Some of us arrive on this path quite by accident, others of us make a decision and so it is, and then there are others of us who have to spend not so small fortunes and endure great hardships to join the ranks.  Confirming, again, that motherhood is the best, hardest, most wonderful, devastating, amazing, crazy ride of your life...

Again, still...

Venus - please grant my friend admission to motherhood today...