Greatest of All Time.
Someone knew what they were doing when they named goats, goats.
Yesterday we brought home three tiny, furry babies. They are so cute and loving. We are very lucky to have them.
I feel somewhat “wrong” about getting more goats after losing Fitzy last year. That was so incredibly painful. Then having to find a home for Finnegan the final blow. It has taken me the four months to be ready to open my heart again to these furry little bundles of joy. And while it was all smiles and excitement yesterday, I still felt guilty.
We don’t know exactly why Fitzy got sick, but I know at least in part it was because we were not as careful in what he ate. So this time, I have made a ton of changes that will hopefully go a long way in ensuring the safety of these little guys.
It doesn’t feel like enough. It still feels like I failed.
My daughter is over the moon, thrilled by her birthday presents in the fur. I don’t know if she also feels the sadness but I certainly do.
Love is a funny thing. It doesn’t really ever end when you have loved someone. My love of goats, well really all creatures great and small, the source of so much pain over my lifetime. Sometimes I think that I would have been so much better off, had I just not chosen to love all the little furry ones. My life would have for sure been simpler. It would have been less sorrowful. It would have been so much less full, rich and loving.
I am an alcoholic. And I still do pretty much everything alcoholically. That is just how I am wired. I seem to love that way too. It isn’t an asset but I am not really sure it is a flaw either.
What I have been willing to do is just keep opening my heart over and over and over again. To people, to animals, to tiny little goats who I already love with a fierceness that is probably overbearing.
Goats really are the greatest of all time. They are fun packed into tiny containers that are both crafty and adorable. I admire their sense of wonder and their sense of fun. They are mirthful and who couldn’t use a little more mirth in their lives?
While the joy and laughter we will experience with these little joys does not diminish the pain and sadness I still feel over the loss of Fitzy and Finnegan. It does allow me to remember fondly all the good times we had and cherish the memories. Finnegan is doing so well with his new herd. He is loved, cared for and cherished. I could not ask for a better life for him. And it is because of him and Fitzy that I promise to do better, be better with these little angels.
Welcome home Fiona, Fergus & Fallon. Long may you reign our hearts.