I had a great and unexpected day yesterday. It was really quite incredible. That is all I am going to share about it, for now. But it was a day at the beach that was really pretty epic.
I think I have been sorting through this grief stuff for so long that I kind of forgot what it felt like to just be happy. I mean, really fucking happy.
I felt yesterday, for the first time in a long time, like life was beginning again. My son is where he is supposed to be and he is doing really well by all reports. My daughter seems to be doing better and we are working through her stuff. And we are getting along very well. My parents are doing ok, my mom improved and my dad holding his own.
I started my new job and it is great. What was such a hard decision to make, ultimately, resulted in me being so much happier than I have been in a long, long time.
I am grateful for all the trauma sorting I have been doing. Grateful to see things in a new light and perspective. Grateful that I have this life, even with all the ups and downs.
It felt like yesterday turned a corner that I have been trying to round for sometime but just kept getting waylaid. Distracted by some sort of crisis I could not avoid. Being ready some time ago to turn the page, but never quite being able to do it.
I have no idea whether any corners were rounded or pages turned, but I do know that yesterday felt good. Really fucking good. I love my life all the days, but yesterday just felt like a loving embrace of a day. Kind of like God saying, “ok kid, this ones for you!”
Thanks God. I have waited a long fucking time for a day like yesterday...Good on you!