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  • Writer's pictureeschaden

New Definitions of Powerlessness...

My cat is peeing on my bed.  I know, this should be a one time thing and then a reasonable person would block her from the bedroom and never let her in again, like ever, for the rest of her life.

But I am not a reasonable person.  I am a co-dependent person who doesn’t hold good boundaries and so suffers this particular slight over and over again because I will not lock her out of the bedroom.

There are also logistical issues that support my co-dependent leanings:

If I shut her out of the bedroom, I have to shut all the cats out and I (and they) don’t want that;

If I shut all the cats out of the bedroom, there is no heat in the bedroom and I freeze while sleeping;

The cat, when shut out of the bedroom, peed on the couch  which is way harder to clean than the bed, if that is even possible.  Luckily for me I had a cover on the couch for just such an occasion and so it was easier to clean than if I hadn’t...

I am having cat management issues.  And I am quite upset about it really.

The only solution would be to find new homes for the newer cats.   There is mild acceptance for the third cat.  And he is my daughter’s favorite and a very cool cat so he isn’t going anywhere.  The other two are so cute and funny and always into something and causing mischief (which I kind of like in a cat) and they are the ones that really irritate my old girl who was the sweetest cat on earth until I brought those two home and rocked her world.  Which she is now reciprocating by peeing all over mine.

I could let the younger cats outside and that would provide a buffer, but I am worried that they will get hurt or eaten by a coyote or mountain lion.  And there are a lot of strays in the area and there will likely be fighting and the attendant vet bills that come with cat fights.

What if I found new homes for them and she still pees on the bed?  Then what?  Do I get the cats back?  What if whomever I gave them to says no?  What do I do then?

My truth is that I love them all and do not want any of this to be happening.  I want all of them to get along.  I want things to be peaceful and calm and without cat fights and peeing.  But that is not my reality.

I could take her to the vet to see if something is wrong, but I am pretty sure there isn’t anything wrong because she also has pooped on the bed a couple of times when this particular shitshow started so I am pretty convinced that it is 100% behavioral.

So I find myself here at this place again where I do not like my reality and I am resisting it.  Telling myself each day that passes without urine on the bed that we have turned a corner and all will be well now.  And that just isn’t the case.

I am going to try getting another litter box and placing it somewhere else, maybe she just doesn’t like sharing the box with the other cats.  

I know, I know, I am whistling in the dark to keep my spirits up but I seriously do not know what else to do.  I cannot accept piss on my bed and couch, I do not want to re-home the boys, and so I exist in a state of constant stress and friction all because I couldn’t hold an appropriate boundary to begin with...and say no to more cats.


And as usual, I did it to myself, again.  I thought that the crazy, living alone cat lady status was something that would come later, but no.  It is here now.  I am over here talking to cats, cleaning up after cats, being seriously co-dependent with the cats and my house will surely smell of cat urine soon if I do not find a solution to this ongoing, vexing problem.  (Actually that will not happen because I cannot and will not live with disorder or uncleanliness so my house smelling like a giant litterbox IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!).

I even ordered some ridiculous cat pheromone thing from Amazon.  It is supposed to make the cats have “feel good” vibes and get along.  I placed it next to their food.  So far, it has done nothing except drain my bank account.  Desperate people do desperate things...including getting suckered in by some stupid informercial that I watched one early morning before my senses woke up.

I am powerless over the cat situation and paralyzed by my choices.  I don’t like any of them and so I revert to type and pretend that it isn’t really an issue, is going to end any moment, or that there is solution just over the next horizon and I just have to be patient.  I don’t know what else to do.

Wait, I am going to go research cat collars on Amazon.  Maybe I could let the boys go outside with collars that limit their range and tell me where they are...I mean, I am already in on the whole cat pheromone thing, why not add some ridiculously expensive cat collar to the mix...or maybe a Catico.

Ok, I have to go now, I have research to do in my never ending quest to accommodate my own crazy and attempt one more time to herd cats...or at least preserve the sanctity of my most holy bed.

If you have any brilliant ideas of your own, that won’t cause me to have to take a second mortgage on my house, please let me know.  I am open to suggestions...but not so much on the feedback. I know I am crazy.  I get that.  And that isn’t likely to change, so no use wasting your time and breath.  I won’t likely listen anyway.

Which is my ultimate - living within my own mind and all the attendant ridiculousness that goes on there.

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