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Resting Dick Face

Ok, so yesterday we got a little parity in the world of gender based monikers. I went to lunch with a friend at Pierre LaFond in Montecito. It was busy, as usual. I was dressed for an evening party because I just didn’t have the bandwidth to pull together two outfits for yesterday.

I get that it wasn’t usual to see a woman at Pierre LaFond wearing evening party clothes at noon. I am not usual. Anyone who knows me can attest to this.

There were two men there that kept looking at me, one of whom has what will now be called Resting Dick Face...(I just googled searched this and apparently this is already a thing...but I didn't know it until just now).


I am not sure what this man was really thinking...but his face communicated disdain, contempt maybe even. I am completely willing to allow that he was a very lovely person but the look on his face communicated that he was not pleased...and a little judgey.


Now I will completely own that all of this is based on my perception but isn’t that what RBF and now RDF is all about? We view someone else from our own perspective and take at face value (literally) that what is on their face is an accurate reflection of all that lies below. And like everything else in life, that is only somewhat true...and often quite ridiculously wrong.


So to me this guy had Resting Dick Face - he communicated (at least to me and my friend) that he was displeased with my attire and thought that I was somewhat inappropriate. I found this amusing so I made eye contact frequently to see if I could find out why his face was so upset by my attire...or could it be something else.


What I finally arrived at after somewhat visually stalking this man while we waited for our lunches at the counter, was that I had no fucking clue what was going on inside him and since he was a total stranger to me, I would never ever know. And so I did what we all do, I took things at face value and ran with it and thus “Resting Dick Face” was born for me...on a Thursday at Pierre LaFond.


I am not calling this stranger a dick. But I guess I am calling him out on the fact that his face reflected a disturbed internal state that might not have been indicative of a true inner feeling. So for me, RBF or RDF are really calls to action. Next time I see either, perhaps I might be so bold as to inquire whether the person is ok. Or maybe I could just take a beat to see if there is anything I can do to assist in brightening up their day...maybe turn that frown upside down...ok that was way too fucking hokey. But you get what I mean.

At the end of all this resting face business, my take away is this:

What exists below so it is above. Which includes my face. I cannot bring sunshine to the surface of a soul that is only filled with clouds and darkness. So I must attend to my internal conditions lest they betray me in my life, showing all who look my way that I am truly, internally not ok. To me, RDF or RBF are calls for help from people who are too locked up inside themselves to even remember when and where they hid the key. Perhaps, I can assist by not allowing what appears of the surface to be a condemnation of them and instead do whatever I can to assist in lightening their load just a tiny bit by offering a smile, a hug or a little assistance. And I can do that by attending to my own RBF when I feel it come on...so that I may endeavor to bring less hardship to the lives of others which always, always starts with me attending to my own...




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