So my son got into a car accident last night. Allegedly someone cut him off, he overcorrected, spun out hit the divider and landed in a ditch. Airbags deployed. Car fucked. Kid in shambles. Who knows what really happened...not me, and I am not even sure he does at this point.
I went to bed at 8 pm last night because I was tired. Like super fucking tired. I had a lovely time in Big Bear with my daughter and girlfriends but I came home spent and ready to call it an early evening. And I did. I was out by 8:15 at the very latest.
I was awakened by the repeatedly buzzing of my phone at about 11 pm. When I finally figured out that it was my phone and not some large insect trying to kill me, I barely caught the call.
It was my son, crying, hysterical and in shock from the accident. I am trying to wake up, he is trying to telling me what happened and there was a great deal of disconnect, which is present in every communication we have.
My ex-husband inserted himself, called me screaming and yelling at me, swearing up a storm, behaving horribly and, yes I will say it, abusively. I am still waking up trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and I found myself wondering why the hell he is yelling at me! I didn’t buy him the car, or insure it. I was the one that refused to let the addicted son even get a license under my watch. Which I caught a great deal of shit about later.
But under some misguided notion that cars and driving are NECESSARY for living in today’s world, he assisted my son to get his license, purchased our son a car and then insured it. All while saying that it was inevitable that our son would wreck the car and likely himself in this process. I have been staunchly against Logan behind any wheel, forever having been through four e-bike accidents with him in as many months. My son is just not responsible or capable of being a good driver right now. And I fucking knew it.
So how last night was my fault I am unsure. Our kid had flamed out in Houston, AGAIN! He was going to be evicted, and had no job, no job prospect and no money to keep himself off the street with a variety of issues and problems that he is way too unsophisticated to even admit, let alone resolve. Apparently, my finding him a sober living that would take him for a very reasonable amount in Santa Barbara was what earned me the privilege of my ex-husband’s wrath last evening.
After receiving more abusive texts, I didn’t respond and moved on with doing my best to hold boundaries for myself and my daughter while attempting to help my kid unfuck himself one more time.
Of course the accident happened on a deserted part of the highway in the middle of nowhere. Logan was banged up but ok. BLESSING #1. And he had signal, thanks be to God! BLESSING #2. And insurance and USAA was gold, per usual. Jules, the insurance agent was the BEST! He was kind, appropriate, knowledgeable and helpful. And he got a tow truck ordered and was so kind throughout our ordeal. BLESSING #3.
Then walks in Leroy the tow truck driver. BLESSING #4. He helps Logan get his car out of the ditch, loaded onto the flatbed and then takes him to a hotel instead of leaving him stranded on the roadside. What a guy! He even called me today to see how Logan was today, I mean, who does that??? Leroy does. I fucking LOVE Leroy and if he were somewhere other than Casa Grande, AZ, I would take him to dinner.
Then Alice from the Raddison walks into our lives. She rents us a room for my son, even though he isn’t 21 and she isn’t “technically” supposed to...she sees an emergency for what it is and makes the sensible and good judgment that rules are made to be bent to fit the actual real life circumstances...
Alice not only gives him shelter for the night, she volunteers to DRIVE HIM TO THE AIRPORT IN PHOENIX TODAY! Who the fuck does that? When I ask her how much, she tell me, “$20?” I am like, “Alice, I am not sure what planet you landed here from, but here on earth, $20 is NOT acceptable compensation for almost anything anymore!” We negotiate, me completely negotiating against myself and settle on a price that is reasonable...to me, Alice still thinks it was “too much."
I begin contemplating exactly what planet Alice came from, she gives me her number and we make arrangements for her to spend NEW YEAR’S EVE DAY (and her day off) transporting my kid to the impound lot, Wal-Mart (because he has no luggage - he believes that all moves should be done with lawn and leaf garbage bags) and then she is going to drive him to the airport in Phoenix to catch a plane back to California. BLESSINGS #5 THROUGH #1001. I fucking love Alice and if I was still in the baby making business I would name my next kid Alice just because she is that fucking amazing.
So today, on this very last day of 2023, I find myself quite exhausted but fucking grateful. Grateful my son is alive and ok. Grateful that I was able to get all the logistics coordinated so that my son is now on a flight bound for CA and he is relatively ok...Grateful for the Leroy’s and Alice’s of this world. Grateful there are still people who are willing to help out others even when doing so breaks the rules, causes massive inconveniences, and is really done solely for the act of serving others, and without any demand for repayment or recompense.
So I end this year with a full and grateful heart. I am grateful to all my girls who gathered around me today and supported me through this shitshow. I am grateful for my mom, and her never ending support, love, encouragement and grace. I would be lost without her. I am grateful for tow truck drivers named Leroy and Checkin guest clerks named Alice. I am grateful for sober livings run by people I know and respect in the program. I am grateful that all I lost last night was sleep and perhaps a few dollars. I am grateful the TSA in Phoenix found a way to get my kid on the plane despite his driver’s license being paper and lacking legitimacy.
And finally, I am grateful that yesterday and today, I was blessed REPEATEDLY by all these angels that walk among us. And know that someday soon it will be my turn to be that kind of angel in someone else’s life. And to know that it is events like this and people like these who make me believe with all that I am that people ARE basically GOOD and the world is not completely and totally FUCKED!
Happy New Year, everyone. May you not have the need for angels tonight but if you should, I hope you are graced with angles the likes of Leroy and Alice. Have a fun, safe celebration of this year that is definitely going out with a fucking BANG!
