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  • Writer's pictureeschaden

The Unpredictability of Cat Blankets...

So I have a few cats...two older ladies and three young bucks who have blended together quite nicely. Two are actually brothers and the other is like one to the two of them. Mostly there is cat harmony over here. But there are some small skirmishes from time to time...

One of the ladies just hates all of the boys and takes opportunity to whack the shit out of them whenever it presents itself. It's become kind of a thing. She presents as nice and then WHAM! She sucker whacks them...

So this morning, I awoke to three cats all snuggled into my warmth. They were purring gently, contentedly sleeping with me, on me, into me. Now, I know this probably sounds like many people’s worst nightmare - pinned to your bed by three purring felines, but for me, it is close to Nirvana.

So I laid there, barely awake, just relishing in all the purry, furry sweetness. Me under the down comforter, on top of the down feather bed, my head cradled in the sweet luxury of down pillows, I am not kidding when I say my bed is like floating on a cloud...

So there we all were, me kind of served up on a cloud feather platter, with cats sprinkled on top like some sort of holiday feast. But with cats and feathers instead of actual garnish. Ok I just made myself hungry...which isn’t hard to do because I have looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner since last November...when I had fucking COVID and spent the entire holiday in bed (yes, I ate Thanksgiving dinner from my bed...all weekend long).

I digress...

So I am there floating on my cat decored cloud, all of us in that lovely twilight somewhere between waking and slumber, and that is when things began to go south.

First the arrival of a fourth cat, he was wanting in on the action. Which was fine because the four can be in close proximity without issue, it is that testy fifth one that causes all the uprising. And so the fourth settled in, a comfortable peaceful addition to the ever vibrating cat blanket...

The fifth one was at the foot of the bed where she takes up residence most of the time. She usually just ignores what is occurring at the top of the bed, but not today. Today she seemed to want in on the action, or rather inaction. And I am somewhat to blame for what happened next because I spoke to her, inviting her to come up the middle to the side of the cat she does get along with, avoiding all the ones she does not. And she appeared to be interested...but really, I know now, she just wanted to ambush the whole floating, cat filled cloud of loveliness that was presently occurring.

And that is exactly what happened. She lay down, allowing me to let up on my guard...and just when I closed my eyes and was relishing in all my feline accomplishment, she whacked the shit out of one of the boys. My arm coming up to his immediate defense...and I was just in time to block her meaty, claw filled blow from landing squarely on his tiny nose.

So all the cats scattered and I lie there mad and bloodied for my trouble. Now, if you would have asked me just moments before, I would have said, “all is well!” And like so many things in this life, I was WRONG, again, still.

After I cleaned my wounds and bandaged them so that I did not shed bloody stains all over my white billowy bed...I returned to my now vacant cat bed in an attempt to start my day over again, leaving the ugliness and hurt feelings in the rearview.

But I was kind of pissed at her...until I realized that this is what I do in life. I am never just happy with the way things are, I am always attempting, striving even, to reach out beyond the present moment and add something else to it. Forever causing that delicate, tentative peace to be disturbed because I just couldn’t leave well enough alone...

Will I ever fucking learn?

Probably not. Because I am just that kind of person that is like, “let me just see if I can add this one more thing...” And yes, I totally suck at Jenga for this exact reason...

So my lovely morning was ruined by my own interest in adding more to the mix. I know better, yet still here we are.

Today seems like it will realign in a better manner than perhaps the kerfuffle we just endured...I have had a rotating lap of cats since I returned to bed after doctoring up my peace is being cat at a time, which is probably a better course for all concerned.

For me, I am going to try to remember that on those mornings where I wake up, flattened to my bed by the dreamy cat blanket, I should just leave well enough alone. Relish and savor what I have instead of trying to add just one more, in this case, cat, to the mix. (This is an apt metaphor for my life though, just substitute out cat for pretty much anything else...)

So this Sunday I begin the day again, realigning myself to the fact that this stubborn need of mine to just add one more thing, is what has brought about ruin in my life and the lives of others, repeatedly...again, still. Perhaps I will someday learn, that life, like cat blankets, is wildly unpredictably predictable.

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