I have been in my own way...for months. Unable to move forward productively in several areas of my life. But the flow is moving now, and I have been dislodged from my own ideas. Helped by a curious current mover named Sam. I am so grateful to her. She has been the missing piece that I needed to propel me into action which I have avoiding for months.
And I know that even the blocked times have a purpose. I apparently needed the down time. I needed the time to stew in my own eddy. I needed the sleep, rest, and days where I thought about working, but really didn’t. Mostly because I didn’t know where to begin.
Then one day you have coffee with a newer friend. The coffee isn’t about work, it is just a catch up. A connection. But the conversation is based on reality and real feeling and heart. So the conversation is intimate and revealing. So I told the truth...I didn’t know how to begin...I didn't know what I was doing.
A passing comment from this coffee date friend changed everything. She gave me the number of this magical creature we shall call Sam (that is her name, so). And everything began to move.
It is so hard to begin when you don’t know where to start. This has not really been an issue with me for most of my life. Didn’t really care if I was dead wrong, I always knew where I was supposed to start! And then I had the energy and life force to make it all happen.
The last nine months has not been like that. At first I was just enjoying freedom. Recuperating from the last endeavor and its toll. Then I was scared. I didn’t see how I could do what I wanted and needed to do...so I procrastinated which is not usually one of my grosser defects.
Then the pall set in. I just decided that it would all work out. Which is another way to say that I set up camp in Denial City. And I took up a pretty good residence there...for months.
Reality set in last month. Money was running out and I had to move forward. And as usual, grasping at straws was my choice endeavor. But as always, that didn't work, except to make me feel more stuck and scared and lost.
So I did what I know works...every. single. time. I prayed. I prayed for guidance, strength and fortitude. I prayed to be of service, for God to use what I had to offer for the betterment of others and that I might find a way to support myself in the process.
And as always, the universe delivered.
It didn’t happen as I thought it should or would. It came oddly shaped and wrapped. It was not what I thought, or even really what I needed. But I can see now that I have been set on a path...a unified path. One where I am not all these things: mother, attorney, coach, writer, blogger, mediator. I am just me doing all these things in one place.
Stay tuned...it is going to be so fun to roll this out.
Naked Random Thoughts is going to have a new look and locale. Lotus Coaching & Mediation is also going to find its rightful place in the world. And I, supported, guided and coached by Sam, am also going to find my place to do what I love, what I am passionate about and what I believe I can add to this life.
More will be revealed...is perhaps my most favorite statement about life. Well, at least on the days that I feel unblocked and flowing...which thankfully is where I am today.