As I have said, not a good waiter. I tend to value most those things I can obtain when it strikes my fancy. Not a good character trait. I am only just now, as I age, getting to see that the value of waiting for what the universe will bring my way, is usually better than that which I can produce of my own efforts, on an immediate basis.
Waiting brings anticipation which I think is largely underrated in this world. I will give you an example:
I have been so looking forward to going to Big Sur next week. I have been talking about it, thinking about it, remembering years past and writing about it. I am savoring something that hasn’t even happened yet but it has happened if only in my mind. I can go there, right now, this moment and receive some of the joy today that waits for me next week upon our arrival. Anticipation is building and so long as I keep my expectations in check, I am allowed to front myself the feelings of joy that accompany this trip. I can get some of the good vibes now, on something that hasn’t even happened yet and might not given how our world is today...
Anticipation is the positive side of waiting. I am unleashed from expectations and demands and the need to have what I want right now, by staying in the moment and enjoying the future without having to insist that it look a particular way or even ever happen. I can be happy in this moment thinking of the joy I anticipate will come if the plan comes to fruition while also remembering that plans I make, whether they happen or not, isn’t really up to me.
The quote today brings about another layer to the whole waiting game...perhaps my willingness to wait is an indicia of the value I place on whatever it is I am waiting for...perhaps my willingness to sit still and allow for things to be brought to me, rather than running out and obtaining them through a marshaling of my own will, clears a path for something of exquisite value to come to me because I am willing to not jump at the easy, low hanging fruit, but instead wait for those lofty delicious delicacies that are just out of my reach. Perhaps I am better off just sitting still and allowing rather than reaching, striving, controlling, manifesting and grabbing all that I can right here, right now.
If I look at my life in total, I can see that those things that I have been willing to work for, towards and wait for, have always had the most value, likely because how hard waiting is for me. I offer up my need to have what I want now, for some delayed gratification that comes down the pike later. Demonstrating to the universe that I actually do value that which I am willing to wait for...
This is a new thought process for me. Thinking about things in terms of value, instead of just mindless acquisition of all that I think in this moment that I need, want, desire, deserve. Waiting, perhaps, is a path to getting what I need, when I need it and not just when I decide that it is time. It is a turning over of my will and my life to the care of something greater than me, with an honest and sincere desire that all that happens for me, happens so that I may use what I have learned and share that in an effort to help others find peace, love and contentment also. Me, being relieved of suffering, while others suffer on, is one way to live, and I know that way...I lived it for a long time. Today, the life that I get to live where being relieved from suffering and endeavoring to help others do the same is so much greater. And perhaps, the next step to continue that journey is to show myself just how much I value where I am, by waiting.
