So apparently my refusal to accept illness doesn't really work. Just spent the better part of a week knocked out with whatever that was. It wasn’t COVID, that is all I know.
It is amazing how much I do daily that seems so benign but then knock me on my ass for a week and then I am struggling to put the daily stuff back into place. Why is it so hard to create a routine and stick to a routine? Then so easy to abandon it and then so damn hard to re-start it?
I watched all four seasons of Yellowstone and all of 1883. For four days I laid in bed, sleeping and watching and not really doing much else. It was what I needed but now I am struggling to get life going again.
I always feel the same after coming off an illness. Grateful that I have a life that gives me time to go down like that and at the very same time regrets missing a week of my life.
I am grateful to be feeling better though the symptoms linger and I do not feel 100%. I am grateful for the down time and now attempting to roll back into already in progress life with ease and not overdoing it so that I land flat on my back again.
I am not sick very often but when I go down, I seem to go down hard. Not sure why that is. Just know that it seems to be the way things are now. And I guess that is ok. My binge watching fired up the dream to move to Montana so I guess I have that to grapple with now. It really only stoked a long held desire for a simpler life, away from cities and people and surrounded by quiet natural beauty. For now it remains a dream, one that I intend to practice more on the weekends, running away in the RV as often as I can to parts that are free of people and all the trappings of our “modern” life.
So I emerge from my week of illness grateful to be feeling better, a strong desire to move to Montana, and a feeling that the life that I have is pretty spectacular. Health, dreams and appreciation for what I have. Seems like I weathered this last week pretty well.
Oh and Beth Dutton is my new spirit guide...look out!
