Big Sur...

There are places in my life that bring me immediate and intense relief.  Bir Sur is one of those places.  Every time I am near it, I feel peaceful and content.  It is palpable.  Part of my soul is anchored there.  I don’t know why or how or what to do about it...I just know there is a part of me that is only accessible there.

I made a spontaneous trip up there yesterday.  Just hopped in the car and away I went.  It was overcast and not the best weather, but Big Sur is a place you can love no matter the weather because the foggy, cloudy sky only adds to the drama of it.  I will take Big Sur bright and sunny. And I will take it socked in and depressingly sad.  Either works.  And always seems to be exactly what I need.

There are other places in the world where my soul is activated:  Skenes Creek Australia, Mendocino, Rincon Point, the mountain sides of Ojai,  any Redwood forest, Gold Beach, OR, Quilcene, WA, Valle Crucis, NC, Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, Ubud, Bali, Manapouri, New Zealand, Milford Sound, New Zealand, Otautau, New Zealand, Owaka, New Zealand, Bungan Beach, Australia, Ballyhornan Northern Ireland, Yosemite, Boulder Creek, CA, Whitefish, MT.  I could go on...

These are all places where different parts of me are activated in ways that are not activated in other places.  Places where I am more me than in other places.  All of them beautiful, peaceful, treacherous in their own way, and soul supporting.

I have learned that in order to discover new parts of me, or rather perhaps, better said, old parts of me long ignored, forgotten, overlooked, or silenced, I have to move about a bit.  I have to get to the out of the way places.  I have to remove myself from the hustle and bustle and just be.  The underlying feeling is the same in every one of those places mentioned above.  I am the most me I am anywhere.  In these places, I rise above the fray of my own existence, fraught with my limited perspectives, compulsions, and distractions.

All of the above places bring me a sense of peace I don’t seem to be able to find anywhere else.  The feeling is the same, a deep abiding sense of wholeness.  There is no separation for me there.  I am whole, complete and need absolutely nothing other than to bathe in the atmosphere of these places.

Yesterday it was Big Sur.  And I can still feel its effects this morning.  It is like the vapor mist, weaves long tendrils of water, air and sea salt into my hair, and I float away but remain connected, grounded even, rooted in place within a part of my soul that is only activated in places such as this.  

These are the places I can hear my soul calling.  These are places where I believe I feel granular life occurring, the stuff that goes on beneath the surface, the particles of life and living that I miss when at home, living the day to day, consumed by the chores and obstacles of daily living.

I hope one day I get to reside in a place like that where my soul resonates and vibrates with the call of the wild.  That I have time in this life to do nothing other than wake, write, wander and reflect, where the only clock I have is the tide and the only limitation of the day is my own energetic level.  I pray one day I can bask in that, but perhaps I am just being greedy.  Perhaps these types of places, these locales are only special because they are removed, foreign and visitable but not livable.  I mean I know people live in all the places mentioned above, but I don’t.  Perhaps they are only visitable for me, not livable.  Perhaps if I tried to live in any of those places, they too would become less of what I feel and more of what I do.

For now, I am grateful for any time spent in places that awaken this mystical, mysterious part of me.  I feel refreshed while also feeling sleepy.  I feel content and removed from my usual hustle pace.  I can still hear the crash of the waves on Pfeiffer State Beach, the crunch of gravel on the long road towards it.  I can smell the salt air, and feel the dampness of the air on my skin.

Big Sur changes me every time, and it does so by being exactly what it has always been: a collision of grace, beauty, danger, peace and wild which resonates deeply within my soul...

Again, still...