Gratitude for Work...

I know, I know, what on a Monday?  Yes, even on a Monday.  I am tired this morning but even so, I am grateful for a job, a paycheck and a purpose.  Even on a Monday morning, early.

I have always wanted to work.  I have always wanted to pay my own way in this world.  Being a wife and mother was not on my list of things I wanted to do, even as a child.  I dreamed of being a lawyer, having my own money, cool house and car, nice clothes.  It was what I wanted most in this life: the kind of career that gave me the ability to do what I wanted, no restrictions.  I also wanted to help people.  But I would be a liar if I wasn’t vying for a career that would provide me a certain level of prestige and income.

More important than all of that, I needed it to be my own.  I needed to be able to support myself and my lifestyle.  The idea that I could marry and that could become his responsibility felt way too tenuous for me.  Way too unstable.  I did not want to be dependent on anyone, ever.

My thoughts changed about being a wife and a mother, but the whole career and earning capacity thing did not.  I cannot fathom what it would be like to be financially provided for where I did not have to work or provide for myself, or at a minimum contribute.

So the earning of money has always been important to me.  But also the job.  I wanted a job that would give me power and control.  Feeling like I lacked a lot of that growing up, I had a hunger and thirst for a career that made me feel powerful and mighty.  I know, not the best foundation for a career choice:  money and power.  But it is the truth.

And I think for the most part I have wielded both with a fairly level head.  I have used my education and power to help others.  I have been a guiding force for people dissolving their marriage and often their sanity.  And it has provided me a sense of purpose and a stable life.  And I am immensely grateful for both.

So on Mondays, like today, where I am up before the sun, I am looking forward to the day ahead.  Grateful to have something purposeful to involve myself with and in.  Grateful for my paycheck that comes regularly.  Grateful I can use all I have learned over the past 30 years to benefit others.  And very grateful that it pays me well enough to sustain my life.

I am of an age, where I am thinking about retirement.  But I am not sure I want to stop working.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I win the lottery, I am not going to still hold my day job.  I will travel and enjoy the fuck out of my life.  It is this weird dichotomy for me:  I love work and find great purpose and interest there but I could absolutely walk away from it tomorrow and be just fine.  I have lots of things I love that keep me busy so I would fill in those blank spots with ease.

I am grateful for having had a good career.  I believe I have made a difference in the lives of my clients, my family and my own life.  I have been a source of support and guidance while earning a living wage.  I have been able to afford the creature comforts of a very nice life.  And on days like today, where I am lounging in bed, drinking coffee, and not really wanting to launch myself into my job, I am grateful for the work anyway.  I am grateful to be needed, wanted and helpful.  I am grateful that my experience can benefit others as well as myself.

Work, is well, work.  But there is purpose, interest and solace to be found within our vocations.  And for me, I know I picked wisely.  Because I write to you from the home my earnings provided, from a bed that I paid for, and in a little while I get to rise and begin again my day being of service to my clients and coworkers.

Not too shabby for someone who drank her way through law school...

I am grateful for

Book club

Warm November afternoons

Long evening hikes

Elizabeth

Snuggles with Jameson this morning

My food turning out ok

Long talks with my mom

Good night’s sleep

Getting new HVAC installed tomorrow

Day off tomorrow

My animals

Grace and Riley are happy