Maybe I am Done Writing...

I have been struggling to come up with topics lately.  I used to just wake up and it was kind of already writing itself in my head.  Now, I wake up and there is just nothing I want to say, or at least feel compelled to share with all of you.  I don’t know if my resistance to writing is a resistance to writing or if it is a resistance to share...

Either way the morning musings have been a struggle lately.  I guess I will also acknowledge that writing every day (pretty much) for the last seven years is a lot.  I guess I had a lot to say and now, perhaps, I have said it?

I know life has moved into this new transitional world, that I have no experience with: my dad is in memory care, my children are leaving the nest, I have pretty much given up dating, and now I am left with work, the gym and hiking.  Well, also caring for the animals and cleaning.  Kind of weird. Not sure how I like it.  Not sure that it really matters if I do or don’t.

I have been sick with a sinus infection for the last week and that shit just lays me out.  But before that I felt a shift in my energy.  I walked around the fair yesterday afternoon, a place where I used to feel so young and alive and just felt tired.  Perhaps it is because I am still not 100%, but if I am honest, I feel this way a lot in all aspects of my life right now.

There is just a shift going on that I can’t quite grasp or name.  Writing is just one of the places the shift has become obvious to me...

I am not quitting so much as re-evaluating what else I have to say, and whether I want to share it or not.  Feels almost too personal, but then again, I started this whole thing to relate to others and to share my experience, strength and hope.

Just where I am on this Monday.  Forging ahead in new ways and exploring sides of me I feel just recently introduced to...

Again, still...