Quantum Leaps...

The thing is that right before a giant spiritual growth spurt, there is usually a large karmic test.  Something or someone will attempt to prevent the leap from occurring.  They are sent to derail your evolution forward.  They are there to keep you mired in that which you thought you resolved.  It is tempting, very tempting to engage and allow yourself to be pulled back into that which you just released.  Resist. Move forward anyway.

Everything will feel harder.  Doubt is ever present.  Forward progress stalls out.  Things feel way out of alignment and the idea that perhaps it is time to slow down, back off, adjust course looms large and ever present.  But, in my experience, it isn’t a warning, it is a breakthrough in motion.  The hard part is that it doesn’t all coming crashing in and down all at once, it is usually a series of endings, failures, disappointments and losses that come over a period of time, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.  And fear is large and in charge.

This time can feel super lonely, isolated, painful, scary and like you are doing everything wrong.  But you are just being prepped for what comes next in the leveling up process.  It will rarely ever feel this way or good. But it will be, upon reflection, the time where it all fell apart so that something new and exciting and life affirming could happen.

We cannot grow into change desperately clinging to that which needs to go.  We must release, allow and wait.  Trusting the process is key.  It is not easy but it is vital.

We tend to view the accumulation of things, people, ideas, belongings as landmarks on the road to success.  We tend to be quite wrong about this.  Like completely, totally wrong.  Spiritual development and ascension always comes with the removal of things, people, belongings, jobs, etc.  it is almost as if all the things you prize block your ability to receive that which you really want.  We cling so tightly to all the stuff, believing it to be our safety, our worth, ours.  When in reality, it is what is tethering us to the life, the relationship, the job that we do not want, need or desire.  Release is absolutely essential before you quantum leap into the next, best higher version of yourself.

And in the flat land upon which we reside, it is hard to see that there is more beyond our horizon that we cannot even fathom.  We cannot even have the audacity to imagine.  Releasing all that we believe to be true and vital is the key that opens the next doorway.  All the loss, reductions, removals are what shape us into the people we become next, the higher versions of ourselves. And this can only happen when we trust the process and realize that all that is being removed will not be needed in the next iteration of our lives. And, most importantly, we will be provided all we need after our leap lands.

I am not sure about anyone else, but I am in this process now.  I know a giant quantum leap is coming, I can feel myself being sucked into the void that all that energy is building and creating.  And there is a fair amount of resistance I feel to it all.  But this past weekend, as fear loomed large and supreme, I was able to accept and realize that resistance is futile.  My choices are two:  resist and remain transfixed to a life that I do not want, or release and allow whatever comes next to move me into the next version of myself and living.  Release is way scarier than resistance.  So it often takes me awhile to get there.  And getting there happened on Saturday.  I was resisting and suffering and then I just let go.  And the all the space fear was holding opened up.  And into the vacuous void fear had just exited, peace, serenity and equanimity entered.  They flowed in rapidly and completely. This feeling of peace and calm and of knowing entered and occupied all the space and buoyed my heart and soul.  And it was amazing.

I never would have had this experience if I did not realize that sometimes when we leap into the yawning void, we have to be released from all that we absolutely believe is all that we need.

Again, still...