Use Your Fear to Find Your Courage...

Amelia Earhart.

Well we can see how well that worked out for her.  I can’t believe all these years later we still have no idea what happened to her.  She just disappeared.  But, she did leave an absolutely stunning legacy of facing fear and turning it into courage...

I have never wanted to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.  I have never been that kind of dare devil.  But I have come to a place in my life where finding what I am afraid of is most helpful in finding my courage.  Apparently, the two live in parity with each other.  Wish I would have know that earlier in life...

Seems like some of the most profound things in this life are things that feel like they are worlds away from each other, but in fact, coexist with each other all the time.

There have been so many things I have been afraid of in this life: people, heights, falling, intimacy, looking like a fool, success, failure, financial insecurity, making mistakes. And right there, within all of those things, I have also found the courage to confront and move through all of the above.  In fact, had I not had those fears, I would have never found the courage to connect with people, to climb tall things even though I was terrified the entire time to fall to my death, to allow someone into my interior, acting like a fool and not caring what others thought or said about me, made a success of my life, failed, took financial risks but also saved, and it has been all of my many mistakes that have been my greatest and most loyal teacher.

It is a weird time in my life right now.  I am still in the hallway, life taking some twists and turns that I did see coming, just wasn’t really prepared for them no matter how much they were not out of the blue.  My courage seems to be riding along at a distance though...fear leading the entourage, and courage being quite content to bring up the rear.  But I guess, I have to be grateful for the fact they are even in the same group.

There is a lot of wisdom in using your fear to find your courage.  And, at the very same time, there is still a lot of fear and if feels, a great deal of the time, that courage is aloof and very reckless with its ability to show itself.  But I guess that is what courage is really:  the ability to move through uncertainty, change, loss, grief, heartbreak even though the results are not assured.  Even though you aren’t guaranteed a happy ending.  Even though things are in a state of disrepair and uncertainty.  Going forward when things do not feel good, when you don’t know what you are doing, when the outcome is uncertain and not locked down, is kind of the definition of courage.  So easy to take forward action when you feel like you know what you are doing, when you are moving through your life with a feeling of agency and control.  So much harder to do when you feel lost, unsure and kind of hopeless.

But, when all is said and done, fear and courage shall always be found together.  They shall always be in tandem with each other.  And if you need courage, the best place to look apparently, is where you are most afraid...

Again, still...