Like a Girl...
Why has this phrase not been completely removed from our vernacular? Why do we still tolerate people (because women use it too) saying shit like, “he throws like a girl, he was being such a little girl, cried like a little girl, etc?” Ya know, I had one of both and both my kids cried, because that is what children are SUPPOSED TO DO! Girls do not necessarily cry more than boys when they are young, it is totally dependent on the child and their temperament.
I am fine if we use the phrase to say, “like a girl” and have it mean like Simone Biles or Venus Williams or Martha Stewart or Taylor Swift. Yes, please society let’s do it like a girl. Because girls and women are fucking amazing!
No matter what kind of man you are, you have loved and been loved by a woman. And if you haven’t, your problem isn’t women or girls, it is the particular people who you were raised by or surrounded with. It isn’t all of us, just your unfortunate reality, which breaks my heart for you, really. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be raised by a heartless, abusive, mean, intolerant woman. If this was your life, your childhood, my heart really goes out to you. But this is not all women, not all girls.
I would like to not so politely request that we each do our part to remove this denigrating “like a girl” bullshit from our conversation and society. Girls are fucking resilient, amazing, strong, tender, powerful, intelligent and heroic. If you don’t believe so, perhaps it your sampling of the female gender...and not the gender.
To use “like a girl” is a pejorative manner undercuts all of the fucking accomplishments we have worked so hard to achieve in this life. And since this phrase is likely not to go away, let’s reclaim it. Let’s inoculate it. Let’s change it to mean things like
Like a girl who fought to get the right to vote
Like a girl who fought for civil rights
Like a girl who fought for equal pay for same work
Like a girl who had to walk through life everyday with the imminent threat of danger (from men, our apex predator)
Like a girl who had to fight to be able to serve her country
Like a girl who had to fight and train and work so hard to be an athlete and have to fight for funding for her sport and talent to be curated
Women are the strongest thing I know. Not just on the surface, but down deep. Our depth of dedication, love, service, willingness to place other’s needs first, our willingness to lose our bodies and a little part of our minds to bringing new life into the world. If that doesn’t fucking wow you, I am really not sure what will.
This is not a diatribe that women are better than men. I am so tired of the comparison. I do not want to be compared to a man. We are NOT the same and defy comparison. I just want us to be recognized for our own merit, for what we bring to the table, for how we show up for life and love and living like a girl, and aren’t we all so much better for our effort?
A little warning to those in my social circle, if you say “like a girl” in a demoralizing way in my presence, look the fuck out. It isn’t going to go well and I can, when provoked be quite vicious with my tongue. I will no longer stand silent and let that kind of shit pass without a confrontation. I will no longer be quiet about people denigrating my gender and relegating us to some fucked up place that defies all the strength, humanity, humor, prowess, ability, intelligence and power we possess.
Isn’t it time we all admit that all children cry sometimes, all people are weak sometimes, all people are not physically astute or adept sometimes. Let’s just let this one annoying, embarrassingly ill informed part of our culture and language go, ok? And let’s not have to make me ask again? Or you just might be on the receiving end of someone who is going to kick your ass (metaphorically, because I do not engage in physical violence anymore), like a girl.
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