Thoughts Think Themselves...

Krishna Murti said that.  And, what an astute observation.  They do, no matter what I do or where I am, the thoughts are tireless, they just keep coming.  In meditation, for moments, there is a longer space between the thoughts, but I cannot, at least so far, find an ability to make them stop. 

I used to think that drinking was a good way to numb them out.  But upon reflection, I can see the whole drinking to forget, only created more shit to think about and more wreckage to clean up.  It was a completely self defeating process.  It only ceased the current thought spirals by creating other new thought spirals, that, in the moment, seemed like a better option than the thoughts that plagued me daily.  What folly that was!

Thoughts beget thoughts beget thoughts.  It is a never ending stream of consciousness.  And I can struggle against it or I can just let those thoughts think themselves, and do my best not to get swept into their current.  Some thoughts are bigger, have more power and more readily believed.  Some thoughts are easily dismissed.  I guess the best practice for me, is to see that I feel best and most grounded when I am impervious to the thoughts swaying power.  

Great and wonderful thought - no big deal.

Horrible, crushing thought - no big deal.

I think, for me, it is the practice of not getting all caught up in the thoughts thinking themselves that I lose sight of the fact that this is going to happen and I do have a choice about how much I participate in them...and surrender to the reality that I cannot stop the thoughts and that attempting to do so, will, eventually, just cause me more strife and issue.

When I am able to take my seat as observer of the thoughts, I kind of see them like being a spectator at a parade. Lots of different floats, lots of different participants.  And I just sit on the curb and watch them pass.  Some I love, some I do not, but I never feel like I need to jump in there and change them...I just allow them to pass me by, my reaction to them belonging to them and temporal and fleeting. I am not forever changed by my thoughts about them, they were there, my thoughts were there and now both have passed on.

Nothing to do, nowhere to go and nothing to further think.  I do not get all swept up in the parade.  I know my role is spectator.  And that is fine.  So I try to employ this paradigm with the parade of thoughts that is constantly and persistently running through my mind.  My job is to let them pass, having whatever feelings I may about them and trust that others will come because that is just what they do...there is always another parade, another participant, another idea brewing.

Thoughts think themselves.  And this is just the way of thoughts.  Parades have floats and marching bands and baton twirlers...and they march steadily down main streets.  Nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to think.  My job, is just to observe them, notice the reaction they produce in me, and allow them safe passage...to whatever their ultimate destination might be. I do not have to join the parade and become a baton twirler. I can just sit by and watch them twirl.

Again, still...