YOU ARE NOT A STREAKER IF YOU HAVE PANTS ON!

If you watched the Super Bowl on Sunday, well, if you watched the highlights on social media afterwards, you saw the guy "streaking" across the field wearing only pants...with words written across his chest and back.  They did not air him during the game, but his stunt went viral afterwards on social media.

I have sooooo many issues with this stunt:

First of all, what we all really want to know is how can someone be called a streaker when he wasn’t naked?  He was just a guy trespassing and invading the field with his shirt off.  Come on Dude!  What the fuck?  Don’t bring that lame ass shit to the Super Bowl!  I mean, go big or go home!  If you aren’t risking a public indecency charge, well then I maintain it isn’t fucking streaking!

Second, the fact that he did it to promote his own brand just kind of makes me sick.  I mean really?  When society has lost its fucking marbles and US citizens are being shot down in the street, this is what you write across your chest and back?  Shameless self promotion?  Really?  What has become of us as a people? HIM! We have become him.

Finally, this was not this guy’s first time doing this.  And he bragged on social media afterward that he was able to bypass security from being banned from his earlier foray into “streaking” by a fake beard and glasses.  I mean, this just makes the entire security team look ridiculous.  I mean, if that jackass got in, who else did they let in? What is becoming of our policing forces in America. You get Nazi gestapo who will shoot you with pepper spray or kill you in the street or a security force that is fooled by a guy in a fake beard and glasses? These are our options? Really?

Streakers are naked, people!  And they are either insane or very, very drunk.  They are not people who wear a disguise to bypass security, then write all over their chests while wearing pants to promote their brand during the Super Bowl after paying $50,000 for their ticket.  

I am soooo disappointed in us as a society.  And we should immediately scrub social media to take away the title of “streaker” and replace it with the proper moniker, “tech bro runs across field with his shirt off...”  Although I will give the guy that the Patriots could have really used his yardage.  I mean, he did break some tackles and gain more yards during his run, not streak, than the Patriots did the entire game!  Well, almost.

The Daily Show posted a skit recently where they proposed we go back to the 1980s.  And I am for it.  Back before the world went insane with social media and all the other stupid online bullshit that we have now.  Back to when streakers were actually naked and drunk out of their ever loving minds!  Back to the good old days when the streaker would not get put on a sexual predator registry for streaking.  

Living in a world where the government terrorizes its citizens and shoots people for protesting unlawful murder in our streets but calls a dude without his shirt on, promoting his tech business a streaker, what the fuck are we even doing as a society anymore?  And the fact that he took his moment and the best use of it he could think of was to wear pants and not write words of protest on his chest and back, but instead promote his tech business, that arguably must be a start up and in need of funds (yet he still has funds to buy a $50,000 ticket!), what the fuck is wrong with us?

Streakers should be nude by definition and I am starting a campaign right here and now that refuses to give the streaker title to any lame ass tech bro that just runs across the field with his shirt off!  Come on people!  This is America where crazy abounds and we celebrate it.  We are free to be as crazy as we want...we can’t allow our previous commitment to social insanity to get watered down with bullshit self promotion that isn’t daring, interesting or even fucking naked!

Have some balls...and I guess we will never know if tech bro does because he opted for the chicken shit way to draw attention to himself in today’s world...a stupid stunt that aimed to serve no one but himself.

Kind of a fitting commentary though isn’t it?  And so fucking sad.

Again, still...