Getting Over It...

Some things in life are just not easy to get over...no matter how hard you try.

People you love.

Addiction.

Trauma.

Sorrow.

Loss.

Grief.

Death of people you love.

Heartbreak.

Betrayal.

Just to name a few...

But recently I have been thinking that it is up to me how long I spend and how I hold the hard, difficult feelings.  And it occurs to me that I wish I knew I had a choice earlier in my life...

For reasons I do not completely understand...I had this idea that I could avoid getting over it by avoiding that it happened, or was happening, or whatever.  That I could just pretend the horrible, hurtful shit that happened in my life wasn’t happening, didn’t happen...

And it occurs to me now, that, perhaps, a better way of living might have been to make a decision to do the healing at the time the pain was there.  When the crisis was underway, when the pain was present, real and prolific.

I am not sure why I thought I could avoid it.  I really, really wish I had known sooner that you have to feel it, to heal it.

But I do now, so yesterday when I saw this post it note randomly secured to a store bulletin board, it struck me.  I am going to have to get over it eventually, so I might as well do it now.  The healing time is always now. It may take me a long time to get over it and heal it.  But the time to do the work is always in the present tense.  My work is always now.  Not later, not never, but now.

And I think this is progress for me.  The fact that I can see the work in real time, the work is now.  Always has been, always will be...

Again, still...