Grounding Spaces...

We all have them.

We all long for them, I think.

Hopefully your home is one of them.  That you feel grounded, supported, loved, healed in the space you call home.

My home is my sanctuary.  

Sometimes, when out and about, I feel the very strong need to return.  Like almost a panic.  Like, “I just need to walk through my front door and breathe in and out for a minute...”

Home is where I feel the most balanced, healed, safe.

But there are other places that ground me...

Long trails that meander up the sides of mountains

Sandy walks along a rocky shore

Sitting on the edge of a mountain overlooking, nothing and everything all at once

At the end of a long dock over a body of water

Oddly enough, on a boat

Behind the wheel of my car as I disappear into the open road

Standing on the edge of a country lane, canopy of trees lining the path

Sitting in my backyard as the night turns to day and the day turns to night

Being completely buried under a furry, purry blanket of cats

The moment when a quick hug lasts just a little longer and I feel held

Lying in bed with someone I trust/love, drinking coffee and talking about everything and nothing all at once

Writing

Reading

It is a feeling that begins as a place but remains at my invitation

I have become that grounding space.

I am grounding and spacious

And as I write that 

I am not sure when exactly that happened...

After what trauma did I heal that completely?

After what heartbreak did I decide I needed to have my own back, completely?

After what misdeed or mistake did I decide to love myself anyway?

After what loss did I decide I am responsible for my own comforting?

I am not sure...

All of them?

The last one?

Twenty-seven before the last one?

I just know that it happened for me.

Somewhere along the somewhat treacherous path that is my life, I became my own grounding space...

And, while it was never an outright goal, it is the best thing I have done in a long time.

Perhaps it is not something that can be reached as an outright goal.  Perhaps, instead, it is just something you have to realize one day as you move through your life, seeking safety and comfort and realize that you are the most safe and comforting thing you know...

Again, still...