Lessons for 2026...

How do we know which lessons are meant for us?  It is easy, really, they just appear in front of us as obstacles, hardships, losses, gains, wins and just life.  The lessons are ever occurring and will not stop until and unless we are capable of slowing our pace enough to actually observe what is happening.

It has been a weird month.  Lots of changes and lots of hardship.  For the most part, I have ridden through it with a dignified grace.  I have been delivered to a place of peace, an understanding that all that is happening and being pulled away from me, is happening for my own benefit regardless of whether or not I feel that it is.

So far, it seems, I am needing to learn more about letting go, about my own worth and the way I engage with people, the way I show up for those who will not similarly show up for me.  I have been reminded recently how very much love I have in my life.  How many people will show up for me, love me, care for me and be there for me no matter what.  And, as life always requires a balance, I have also been handed some pretty shitty behavior from people I thought were friends.  Life is so good at restoring balance: some good, always must come with some bad.

And I don’t really think it is “bad,” it just is.  I may not like it or label it bad but the event or thing is just happening.  That is all.  And I have enough life experience to date to understand that it is all happening for me while it is happening to me.  The way other people treat me is not an indictment of my worth, but of theirs.  Or in recent developments, their lack of worth or character.

And I know fear is to blame.  Fear makes people do crazy shit, myself included.  Fear of not getting what you want, fear of losing what you have.  That has driven so many of us to behave in ways that are harmful to ourselves and others.  

For the most part, I have navigated this time with a clear presence in the moment.  I have sat through some unbearable things like the passing of my dad, weathered the tree falling on my house, the holidays, difficult relationships and now, apparently, well, I am not going to talk about this other thing, just yet.  I have plenty to say, of course, but I am going to keep it to myself for the moment. Discretion is the better part of valor, and all of that jazz.

The lessons as they are appearing for me on this 5th day of 2026 seem to be as follows:

Release

Purpose

Connection

Family

Grief

What I am willing to tolerate from others and what I am not.

That is a full plate for the year and currently all of those things are being kicked up in my here and now.  And it is ok.  I see the value in all of them and am doing my very best to keep it all in check.

I am still waking every day and my first thought is, “my dad is dead...”  Sometimes this is at 1:30 am and sometimes at a much more civilized 3:30 am.  It is with me from the moment I wake, it walks with me all day long, and crawls into bed with me each evening.  Grief has become a constant companion no matter what I do, so I am just welcoming it, attending to its needs in each moment it makes itself unavoidable and doing the best I can.  I do not know what it is like to live without my dad.  So far, it pretty much sucks.  But there have been so many good moments that have come because of his passing.  People showing up, conversations had, trips taken, time spent, things thought, felt and written.  They were born out of the loss of him and while they may seem to lack merit since they are so closely associated with the loss and losing, I am finding that they are actually more poignant because of their outgrowth from his death.

I would be lying if there wasn’t a part of me that wants to list all the shit that has blown up over the past two weeks. That victimey part of me lives on still, despite me attempting to kill her off a million fucking times.  But she is easily shushed and tucked away.  I tell her, “I know sweetie, I hear you, I do, but making this all into a tale of woe is only going to make us feel worse, not better.  I know you are upset, but feeling sorry for ourselves is not the way through this...”  And for the most part, she retreats to wherever she exists when she is not demanding center stage.  And I move forward in my life with a willingness to walk into the blades of life, knowing and believing that I will be ok, no matter what.  I will be granted what I need for safe passage to the next indicated thing, again, still.

So overall, the lesson 2026 has come to teach me is faith.  And right now it is teaching me it by giving me a reset in pretty much every area of my life...and it is all ok.  Totally ok.  It is all happening according to some Divine guidance I cannot see, but I can absolutely feel and trust.

Life is particularly lifey right now.  And that is ok, life take your turn.  Bring it on.  I am ready.  I am battle scarred but I am also battle tested.  And I am up for the challenge.  How do I know?  I have made it this far.  I have survived 100% of my bad days.  And I am still here, relatively positive, happy and ok with whatever happens next.  I am ready and willing to learn what 2026 is here to teach me.  And to write about it and share about it in the hopes that my lessons can be of maximum service to myself and others.

Again, still...