Mountain Sunsets...

Not sure whether I like the sunsets over the ocean or if the mountains win me over.  I guess it really depends on where I am.  If I am at the beach, it wins.  If I am in the mountains, they win.  Perhaps it is just more important that I witness the setting sun and the locale is just a bonus.

I have led a privileged life.  There has been much abundance and travel.  And there have been so many sunsets, so very many sunsets that took my breath away.  And to me, the measure of a sunset is directly correlated to the place it resonates in your chest. Being caught in the moment, where the fading light pinks up your face, and heats your body in one last slipping gasp, absolutely is part of sunset appreciation...

I didn’t believe in God for a long time.  And if I did believe, I was very angry at him.  My first sponsor used to tell me, “you cannot be mad at a God you don’t believe in...”  That pissed me off even more.  “Um, yes I can Betsy, yes I fucking can!”

But she was right.  I have always believed.  Perhaps because I needed to.  I needed to believe that I was just not dropped here on planet earth and abandoned.  It has taken me a very long time to come to believe in a God I can do business with.  And I am sure my God doesn’t look anything like your God. And that is ok.  My God is not in a church, although you can find him there if you look.  But my God exists in sunrises and sunsets, the soft fur of a sleeping cat, the bright eyes of my border collie, the look on my children’s faces when they sleep.

Last night God resided within a most beautiful sunset.  I stood in awe, once more.  I never tire of being amazed and gobsmacked by the beauty and resplendency of nature.  Nature is where I find God the most accessible, the most felt and the most directive.  I know how to be when I am away in the mountains.  I know how my life is supposed to go.  I know I am not in charge of any of it, but I do play a significant role.  I feel the presence of God directly, clearly and infinitesimally when standing watching the sun depart for the day behind orange pink clouds buffeted by the largess of earth moved skyward.

And at the very same time, I feel small but cared for, the way a child feels toward a loving parent.  Loved, safe, protected, valued, seen.  And so it was last night as I watched the sun bid adieu for the day...I allowed God to wow me one more time.  To have the experience of grace in real time.

Again, still...