Shedding...

As the year of the snake wraps up in mid February, I find myself thinking of all that has happened over the last year.  All the things I have had to walk away from, all the relationships and people I had to shed.  All the versions of myself I have had to shed in order to become a larger person than I was before.  We humans shed our skin all day, every day.  But snakes only do so a few times a year.  And they have to discard that skin, in order to grow, if they did not shed this protective covering, now outgrown, they would become ill.

Sometimes it feels like in addition to all the shedding already in progress with me, I need to shed some more, some more layers of Erin that are becoming toxic in their current proximity to my body.  Just a thought.

I like the idea that we can eschew the things that we no longer need which would include people, places, things, versions of ourselves that no longer serve us.  I like the idea that this is a natural process and occurs without our permission.  Shedding, so it would seem, is just part of living.

We outgrow ourselves repeatedly.  And so we must shed in order to grow into who we become next.  We cannot move into a new way or manner of being, holding onto all those other, older, dried out versions of ourselves.  Shed we must, or grow we shan’t.

I really like the idea that, to some degree, this process will happen without my cooperation or assistance.  But, really, it works best, like so many other parts of my life, when I am an active and engaged participant.

I find letting go of things, people, places and ideas to be something that is either very easily managed, or something that feels insurmountably hard.  No surprise there.  I am an extreme person so I move in great swings in this life.  And all that I release, is no exception.  I would be remiss not to mention that I frequently let go of stuff I should keep and keep stuff that I should let go.  It is not an exact science for me, and I just kind of bumble my way through it.

I guess the most painful thing about shedding is when you really like the skin you are in.  When you feel like you have arrived at some place and time in your evolution that feels like it is the apex, the pinnacle, the zenith.  It is hard to watch yourself drift into what seems like a downgrade in your being.  Aging feels like this a lot.  But I am learning that the shedding must continue no matter how much I like it or think it necessary.  So far, anyway, I have shed nothing that was vitally important because I am still here and arguably thriving.

I guess shedding is just another lesson in the impermanence of life.  We are here, we do some things, we feel a great deal of things that are loosely based on fact and then we move on until our inevitable crossing of the veil to whatever awaits us next in the afterlife, if there even is one.

I guess my work is to trust the process.  When something leaves my life to just allow it go.  When something arrives, to accept its arrival and know that it too, no matter how attached I get to it, will also leave me at some point or another, or I it.  This is also the nature of life and living.

The process doesn’t really seem to care how I feel about the whole endeavor, it is this thing that is operating wholly outside of my sphere of influence, preference and understanding.  I do not know why some people remain and others vacate.   I just know they do and somehow it all works out in spite of how I feel about it all.

So as 2025 draws to a close and I prepare for the fire horse to enter into my life in 2026, I guess there will be more shedding to occur.  Which is kind of exciting really, because shedding at its most basic and pure form, is transformational.  And that is something I look forward to, this never ceasing process of me morphing into some more evolved (hopefully) version of myself.

Again, still...