Well it is my turn apparently. Tested positive yesterday and have been feeling pretty shitty since then. I am not a good sick person. I do not do down well. I am sure this comes as no shocker to any of you...
My job now is to heal and contain. I do not want to give this to anyone else. It is kind of funny that I set the intention to improve my physical health in 2022, and I started off the year with COVID. There are no accidents. Only some sort of divine being could help me do that by creating a situation where I am forced to stay at home, rest and take care of myself.
So as the new year unfolds, I am going to be at home for the next 10 days, working on getting well. Funny, how the universe works. Makes complete sense to me though, I am always a two steps back, three forward kind of gal. And it would appear that none of that is likely to change in 2022.
I am super grateful for this though. I have to work hard and then backslide and then work hard again. This seems to be my most beneficial trait, that no matter what I am always moving forward, maybe not at the speed I would like, but forward, trudging progress is had.
It is getting harder and harder to remember life before the virus. I was binge watching Netflix yesterday and was watching a series that was obviously created before the pandemic...I had this low lying feeling of discomfort...then I realized that it was because all the people were hugging and touching and doing all the things we used to do before the virus. Strange.
I am sorry to have the virus but as with all hardship in my life, I pray that I may have it so that someone else may be spared. May I feel this completely so that someone else doesn’t have to. This is the best use of hardship to me, an opportunity to lean in, to really take it on with the hope and intention that my willingness to feel it and experience it, lessens the burden for someone else.
New year, new me...I feel like once we have the virus, everything is different. There is life before, and now there will be life after (hopefully!). My job, as usual, is to take the things that happen to me and learn the lessons that are inherent in everything that I do, say, feel, think, experience and live. COVID is our new reality...and I am going to do my best to embrace it. I wanted to take better care of myself and improve my health in 2022, and, well, we are off to an odd start, but I see, as usual, life unfolds and it is never, ever like I think it is going to be. But is almost always better than I could have ever dreamed...even COVID apparently.